Category: Humor

Drinking the Koolaid at Magmasystems

Posted on 05/22/09 2 Comments

Oh, how I am laughing today.  FIrst, I was rolling on the floor about online salami attacks at E-Trade and Schwab, now kindred-spirt blogger Marc Adler at Citigroup has me laughing with his recent CEP marketing hype: You know that it’s been a good week for CEP when the Times starts covering it. – Marc [...]

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CEP Engines, Zen and Hollow Brain Theory

Posted on 04/27/09 8 Comments

For the sake of discussion, let’s assume that the company you work for has a number of very challenging problems that your organization has spent millions of dollars trying to solve over the course of many years.  For many enterprises. these challenges include a number of near real-time challenges including fraud detection, intrusion detection, cyberattack [...]

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A New Archaeological Find

Posted on 04/04/09 No Comments

After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year, New York scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 100 years and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 100 years ago. Not to be outdone by the New Yorkers, in the weeks that followed, a [...]

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Onion News! Sony Releases New CEP Appliance

Posted on 02/24/09 No Comments

The latest new CEP device has been released from Sony.  This device integrates CEP with video and will mitigate global fraud, predict in advance global economic problems, insure you make money in capital markets, and reverse global warming! Check it out!

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What is SOA, Really…. A Sacred Omnipotent Acronym

Posted on 11/10/08 No Comments

Having been around the block many times, I enjoyed reading about SOA sinking into trough of disillusionment. Let me tell you what is SOA, really…. SOA, in hardware terms, is the concept that if you take a perfectly good running computer, life, including your precious ROI, will be better if you: Share the motherboard as [...]

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The Enemy of CEP is CEP Vendors

Posted on 11/01/08 No Comments

Recently I have been reading so many laughable posts by CEP software vendors, it makes me want to cry! Vendors are still confusing CEP and EDA.  Vendors are touting CEP as BRMS.   There is so much CEP misinformation on the netwaves that it pains me to read my Google alerts these days! I was planning [...]

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The Secret Life of CEP

Posted on 08/05/08 No Comments

Catching up on the blogs, I couldn’t help but comment on, Is CEP Mature? Or a Curious Case of Information Asymmetry by Mark Tsimelzon, President & CTO, Coral8.  Mark says, “I know for a fact that every major CEP vendor has several dozen paying customers.” Somehow Mark, I don’t find a dozen paying customers by [...]

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Follow the Yellow Brick Road

Posted on 07/19/08 1 Comment

Marc Adler follows on from Muddy Waters to The First Annual Fluffies for CEP where Marc also calls into question the transparency, credibility and accuracy of the various fluffy “awards” we see from time-to-time. When I discussed this openly with Waters in Muddy Waters comments they kindly replied that “customers are loath to be a reference client for a vendor,”  like this fact somehow justifies [...]

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Reference Clients, the Global Meltdown and CEP

Posted on 07/18/08 1 Comment

Sometimes I get email from colleagues who ask me why I am working on compiling CEP/EP reference clients. My reply is that I don’t care must about reported dollar sales because these numbers are, for the most part, meaningless and mythical at this point in time. Large companies sell enterprise licenses and make up allocated [...]

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Orthogonal Blogging at the SOA Horse Races

Posted on 01/20/08 1 Comment

Dear friend Opher Etzion responds to my post Betting on the SOA Horse with a discussion on how SOA, EDA and CEP are technically orthogonal, concluding: “Event Processing can have different interactions with SOA, and when IBM’s announcements in this area will be available you’ll realize that there are different entry points. Event processing can [...]

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